Recently I posted an article on forgiveness and how to forgive someone you love. However, I would like to go into more detail by providing a step by step process. I once heard this saying, “holding onto unforgiveness is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die“. Now take a second and really think about that. This saying has really stuck with me because it is saying a lot. Why would you drink poison and then watch the other person to see if they die? That just doesn’t make sense, does it? So why would you hold onto unforgiveness waiting for the other person to feel it when you’re the one who’s suffering?

how to forgive

As a person who has struggled with unforgiveness for someone I love, here are 5 steps that I used to help me overcome.

  1. Don’t Be In Denial – Acknowledge that it WAS or WASN’T your fault! 
    • Sometimes the situation was so bad that we suppress what actually happened but in order to get over it, we must first confront it. Sometimes what took place wasn’t your fault and sometimes it was but what’s most important is acknowledging it.
  2. Admit that you haven’t FORGIVEN.
    • Now that you you’ve come to terms with what took place, you can admit that you haven’t forgiven him, her or them. In order to become fully delivered and set free, you have to be true with yourself (And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free – John 8:32 KJV)
  3. Forgive Yourself for not forgiving them sooner.
    • Sometimes we beat ourselves up for holding onto things but now that you are no longer in denial and have accepted responsibility, you can forgive yourself. You are only human so why act as if you should have known better. Forgive yourself NOW…tomorrow may be too late!
  4. Read the following Bible Verses and Scriptures on Forgiveness and How God Forgives Us.
    • This is truly a crucial step. Once you see how God forgives us for our wrongdoing, our sins and our issues, you will be more likely to forgive someone else. As you evaluate all of the things you have done wrong (things only you know about), you will begin to realize that what you’re holding onto isn’t as bad as it seems. Here are a few scriptures and passages, I admonish you to read.
      • Matthew 6:12
      • Matthew 6:14-15
      • Matthew 9:6
      • Psalm 25:18
      • Psalm 32:1
      • Psalm 86:5
      • Mark 11:25 – 26

     5.  P.U.S.HPray Until Something Happens 

  • I had to save the BEST for last. This is the most important step. If you were to only choose one of these steps, I would suggest this one. The only way you will see a change in your life is through prayer. Some call it meditation but I call it PRAYER! You must set aside some time to talk to GOD about the situation. Tell him everything you experienced and how it hurt you. As you do it more and more, you will begin to see change. That’s why you mush PUSH…Pray Until Something Happens!

Sometimes you may have to repeat these steps until you have fully forgiven but these steps are truly the beginning on how to forgive someone.

In my devotions, I will always refer to the King James Version bible. If you are looking for a good, affordable copy, I recommend the one pictured below since it has large print and a reference. You can find it here.

And if you want to see more posts such as this one on Lovely Sharice, please subscribe. And if you really like this one and it helped you, please share using the buttons below so it can help someone else.